Year: 1971
Director: Woody Allen
Woody is: Fielding Mellish
Also starring:
Louise Lasser: Nancy
Sylvester Stallone: subway tough
Howard Cosell: himself
Written by: Woody Allen and Mickey Rose
Cinematography: Andrew N. Costikyan
Net resource: The Internet Movie Database



I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
I'll maybe bombing an office building, but I'll try to come.
I was a bed wetter when I was younger. I used to sleep with an electric blanket, and I was constantly electrocuting myself.
What's wrong? Have you seen X-rays of me?
Blood! That should be on the inside!
Are we fighting for or against the Government?
CIA is not taking any chances this time. Some of use are for and some of us are going to be against them.
How am I immature?
Intellectually, emotionally, and sexually.
Yeah, but in what other ways?
Fielding: I object, your Honor...This trial is a sham. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of two travesties of a mockery of a sham. I demand a mistrial. Do you realize that there is not one homosexual on the Jury?
Judge: Yes, there is.
Fielding: Really? Which guy is it, the big guy on the end?
[He is eventually found guilty, but the sentence is suspended pending that he does not move into the judge's neighborhood.]
Woody (to sexy secretary, wearing go-go boots, at her desk, talking on the phone): "You wanna go out tonight?"
Secretary (cupping her hand over the phone): "I'm busy. My friends are coming over; we're gonna watch dirty movies."
Woody: "You need an usher?"

Thanks to Andrew for photo.
Anders Herman Torp
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