|Woody is:||Miles Monroe|
Diane Keaton: Luna Schlosser|
John Beck: Erno Windt
Mary Gregory: Dr. Melik
Don Keefer: Dr. Tryon
John McLiam : Dr. Agon
Bartlett Robinson: Dr. Orva
Chris Forbes: Rainer Krebs
Marya Small: Dr. Nero
Peter Hobbs: Dr. Dean
Susan Miller: Ellen Pogrebin
Lou Picetti: M.C
Jessica Rains: Woman in the Mirror
Brian Avery: Herald Cohen
Spencer Milligan: Jeb Hrmthmg
Stanley Ross: Sears Swiggles
Douglas Rain: Evil Computer
|Written by:||Woody Allen, Marshall Brickman|
The Internet Movie Database
My brain is my second favorite organ.
[A 22nd century historian is showing Miles some artifacts from the late twentieth century to get more info on them. The last item is a videotape of Howard Cosell describing a boxing match]
Historian: We weren't sure at first what to make of this, but we developed a theory: When people committed great crimes against the state, they were forced to watch this.
Miles Monroe: Yes. That's exactly what it was.
[After Miles and Luna have squashed the Dictators nose:]
Miles: An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth and a nose for a nose. I don't know what the hell that means but it sounds brilliant!
[After Miles and Luna discover that the only thing left of the Dictator is his nose:]
Miles: Now is the time to strike. Their leader has a tremendous disadvantage. He has no head or body.
[When the historian asks Miles about the Playboy centerfold]
Miles: I'll just take this too my room and give you a full report in the morning.
Miles: Put yourself in my shoes. I go in for a lousy operation I wake up two hundred years later and I'm Flash Gordon.
Miles: To me a miracle of science is I go in for an ulcer operation and when I wake up, my rent isn't two thousand months overdue.
Miles: I bought Kodak at seven. It must be up millions by now.
Doctor to Miles: You must understand that all of your friends have been dead for nearly two hundred years.
Miles: But they all ate organic rice.
Doctor to Miles: And if they capture you, you don't know anything. They could torture you for hours and what could you tell them?
Miles: Only my name, rank, and your names.
Miles to Luna: I'm more of a mulatto. My father was black and my mother was white, and vise versa.
[Miles after finding out Luna had taken Cosmetic Sexual Technique at a university:]
Miles: I was an English Major myself. Minored in foreplay. It's a one credit course at NYU.
This stuff tasts awful! I could make millions selling it at my health food store!
Miles: Sex and death. Two things that come once in a lifetime. Only after death you're not nauseous.
Luna: It's Keane. It's pure Keane. No it's greater than Keane. It's Cougat.
[Explanation from shtimsdrow on news: It's a reference to Walter Keane, a San Francisco artist who in the '60s cranked out "cute" paintings of goggle-eyed waifs. His work was often ridiculed as being the sort of assembly-line schlock that belongs in a motel. Bandleader Cugat also was a painter and as such a similarly tempting target for jokes.]