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"The food at this place is really terrible". And the other one says:
"Yeah, I know. And such small portions."
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I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone
like me for member.
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Mother(to doctor): He's been depressed.
All of a sudden, he can't do anything.
Doc: Why are you depressed, Alvy?
Mother: Tell doctor Flicker. It's something he read.
Doc: Something you read, heah?
Alvy: The universe is expanding.
Doc: The universe is expanding?
Alvy: Well, the universe is everything, and if it's
expanding, someday it will break apart and that
would be the end of everything!
Mother(shouting): What is that your business?
(to doctor) He stopped doing his homework.
Alvy: What's the point?
Mother: What has the universe got to do with it?
You're here in Brooklyn! Brooklyn is not expanding!
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Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach
gym. And of course, those who couldn't do anything, I think,
were assign to our school.
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["Always the wrong answer". Notice the slap at the end.....]
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[...] In the event of war, I'm a hostage.
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[Jew -- d'you]
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I don't wanna live in a city where the only cultural advantage
is that you can make a right turn on a red light.
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[I happen to have Mr. McLuhan right here.]
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Sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under torture.
[...] If Gestapo takes away your Bloomingsdale's charge card,
you'll tell them everything.
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[...] I interestingly dated a woman in the Eisenhover
administration, briefly, and it was ironic to me because I was trying
to do to her what Eisenhover has been doing to the country for the
last [?] years.
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[lah-di-dah]
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I'm so tired of spending evenings making fake insights with people who
work for Dysentery.
Commentary!
Really, I've heard that Commentary and Dissent merged and
formed Dysentery
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Hi, Hi, Hi.
Oh, hi, hi
Well, bye.
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A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know, it has to
constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our
hands is a dead shark.
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Diane: I live up here. Oh my God. Look! There's a parking space.
Woody: That's OK. We can walk to the curb from here.
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George is standing in line, oh this is..., and... getting his
free turkey. The thing is that he falls asleep and he never wakes
up. So, he's dead. He's dead. Yeah. Oh dear. Well. Terrible huh? I
mean, that's pretty awful...
It's a great story, though. I mean, it really made my day.
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I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the
miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible be like, I don't
know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't
know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable
is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable,
because that's very lucky, to be miserable.
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Do you love me?
Love is too weak a word. I lerve you. You know, I lo-ove you. I
luff you. There are two "f's." I have to invent... of course I
love you.
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I was thrown out of there during my freshman year, for cheating
on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked within the soul of
the boy sitting next to me.
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I was in analysis. I was suicidal as a matter of fact and would
have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian, and
if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
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Duane:Can i confess something? I tell you this because
as an artist, I think you'll understand. Sometimes when I'm driving
on the road at night, I see two headlights coming toward
me. Fast, I have this sudden impuls to turn the wheel quickly
head on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion,
the sound of shattering glass, the flames rising out of the fueling
gasoline.
Alvy: Right. I have to go now Duane, because I'm due back on the
planet earth.
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Annie: You followed me. I can't believe it.
Alvy: I didn't follow you.
Annie:You followed me.
Alvy: Why? Because I was walking along the block behind
you staring at you? That's not following.
Annie:Well, what's your definition of following?
Alvy: Following is different. I was spying.
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Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
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Annie: Then she mentioned penis envy. Do you know
anything about that?
Alvy: Me? I'm one of the few males who suffers from that.
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Alvy: You look like a really happy couple? Are you?
Woman: Yeah.
Alvy: Yeah? So how to you count for it?
Woman: I am very shallow and empty, and I have no ideas
and nothing interesting to say.
Man: And I'm exactly the same way.
Alvy: I see. That's very interesting. So you managed to work out
something?
Man: Right!
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Pam: Sex with you is really a kafkaesque experience.
Alvy: Oh, thank you.
Pam: I mean that as a compliment.
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That's about 2000 dollars an ounce.
Really,....... [sneeze]
[white powder all over....]
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[I haven't split this into parts yet. 5.4 MB]
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